Some favorite tools in my life management and ADHD toolbox
Coaching is a collaborative process between the client and the coach. One of my primary roles as a coach is to ask reflective questions to help you discover the joy of working with your brain, not against it. And each person's ADHD is 100% unique, which is why the strategies developed for each person need to match in uniqueness. All this means I rarely give my clients a list of the things I do to manage my ADHD - although, many times, that's the first question I get! On the flip side, I also know that most ADHDers will benefit from seeing an example first - it's how our brains work. This post aims to provide some thought-starters on ADHD strategies and some context on how ADHDers should think about the strategies that work (or don't) for them.
ADHDers have interest-wired brains, which means strategies we use to manage our neurodiversity (ND) will inevitably stop working - our brains get bored. We need to try new things, so it's always helpful to have a list of the tools in your toolbox to pull out and try when your brain gets bored with your current strategy. Barbara Luther, Senior Leader at ADDCA, shared this concept as "re-sparkleization" - the things that were once sparkly or interesting to us need a little polishing to become interesting again. In many cases, this means trying something new.
Another concept I'll share about ADHD management strategies before I get into the good stuff is the idea of "situational variability." At a high-level situational variability means that a system or process you know works in one situation might NOT work in a different situation. I give an example of this when talking about how music works for me below.
Now to the good stuff. Below are a few things I've tried over the years and now use regularly. Many of these strategies overlap and can be used for multiple scenarios. The key is to play around with different tools, note what works and what doesn't, and remember that it's an experiment. Ultimately you'll uncover and understand what works for you and when so you'll have a loaded toolbox at your disposal.
FOCUS
Most of the time, calm, ambient music works to help maintain my focus. But on occasion, I find it distracting, and that's when I turn to Brain.FM. Brain.FM is "music made for your brain," and I find it SO helpful when I need something to keep me on task but not overwhelm me. They use audio engineering and science to unlock your best self, whether you're trying to focus, meditate, relax or sleep. Use code: THEWAVYBRAIN at checkout to get 20% off your subscription.
I often jam my day with a million to-dos, which is unrealistic for the average person, let alone an ADHDer with zero concept of time. When I don't hit all of my to-dos, it can leave me feeling overwhelmed and unaccomplished, sending me down a negative self-talk spiral (yikes). To help me be realistic about how much I can accomplish in a day and also plan my weeks, I recently started using the Ink + Volt Desktop Dashboard. It's clean and straightforward, tangible, which I love, and isn't loaded with cringy motivational quotes.
This next one is NOT medical advice - always consult your doctor to explore medicinal solutions that work for you. I wanted to share that medicine is a critical tool in MY ADHD management in addition to an arsenal of tools I can call upon, some of which I'm sharing throughout this post.
As an ADHDer, I don't have a great concept of time. In addition, I either need help to get on task with something, or I'll go into hyperfocus mode for 4 hours and need to remember to pick up my kids from school (or eat, go to the bathroom or drink any water, etc...). To help with these drastic focus swings, I heavily rely on the Time Timer MOD Home Edition. It's a visual timer so I can physically see how much time I have for something, and if I forget to look at it, it has a very loud ending ding. If you're away from your desk and need this, the MOD comes with a complimentary download of the digital Time Timer that works similarly; it's just on your computer. Bonus benefit - I use this to help keep my kids on task or get them out the door on time! It helps them to understand the concept of time and how much time it takes to do things, usually making it a little easier on the household overall.
FIDGETING OR HARNESSING MY ENERGY
I've learned that when sitting in long meetings, lectures, or conferences, I need my hands moving to pay attention, which is why I often doodle in these situations. When doodling doesn't work, I turn to Speks. Speks makes the most beautiful and respectful fidgets, which are 100% appropriate for the office or other professional settings. They're quiet, exciting eye and hand candy that I could play with for hours in a meeting. One warning, though, your kids WILL try to steal them.
I cannot meditate easily; my brain is overactive, and my body is fidgety. Having the awareness around needing to connect my brain and body in these overactive moments led me to walking meditations by Calm. It allows me to move my body and connect with my surroundings in a way that helps me cultivate a moment of mindfulness to get me through the day. Calm has an enormous library of meditations, sleep stories, ambient music, and motivational productivity noises like white or brown noise.
CULTIVATING MY INTEREST
Color makes my brain happy, and so does writing on a gridded sheet of paper (allows for lots of doodling potential!). I use colored pens felt tip pens by Paper Mate - LOOK at all those colors! I use the classic Moleskine Cahier journal with a dotted grid for a notebook. You can select a size and color that works for you. Plus, they're not thick, so you can start a new one often, which my ADHD brain loves to do.
By leveraging the concept of re-sparkelization I mentioned earlier, I will do a light re-arranging of my desk if I find myself getting bored of my workstation. Switch out the photos on the wall, add a new lamp, have my kids make new artwork for me, move my desk to the other side of the room for more light etc... Spending as little as 15-minutes on this will give you a fantastic boost of productivity.
Did you know that just 15 minutes of working out or even moving your body gets you 2- 3 hours of extra focus time?? This is why I start my day with a workout or a walk to get my brain going, and my interest ignited first thing each morning.
MONEY MANAGEMENT (TO STOP ME FROM IMPULSIVELY SPENDING!)
ADHDers can be notoriously poor money managers - myself included! I've learned over the years that if I can't see it in my bank account, I won't spend it, and I've used Digit to help with this. It's an app that you connect with your current bank account and set up specific savings goals, like a date you want to save by, an amount you want to save, and the occasion you are saving around. Once you set a savings goal, it automatically skims small amounts from your bank according to your goals. I use this to gamify saving for specific occasions like a family vacation, a new pair of shoes, or even less fun things like saving to pay my business taxes. Periodically checking my Digit account is super fun and makes me feel accomplished.
OVERALL WELL-BEING
Acupuncture has been an excellent way to help me find some time for self-care and also assist in helping with my ADHD and anxiety. I try to squeeze in regular sessions, either weekly or every other week, to step away from the daily grind and do something for myself.
I practice self-compassion as often as I can each week but aim for at least three times. Self-compassion can range from holding a boundary I've set to finally picking up that book I've been meaning to start to make sure I do my workout that day. It helps me remember to take care of myself in the general chaos of life (especially with two young kids!)
There are many more strategies and tools I use to help me manage my ADHD and anxiety. Admittedly, I needed to reframe how I thought about this process to avoid being overwhelmed. At first, I was annoyed that I needed to do so much to manage my brain. But it became an enjoyable process once I reframed it as a fun exercise in unlocking the best from my brain. And I'll end with a shameless plug for the use of coaching to help you explore strategies that work for you. If you're interested in chatting about this process - connect with me here for a discovery call.
